Wolverine: Revolver Review

I make my stunning video debut by reviewing the ugliest comic known to man? Will I manage to flip through it without succumbing to the pain that is this atrocity?

Young Allies Ongoing Starting This June! (or: OH MY GOD MORE RIKKI BARNES)

*inhale* YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

You know what's starting in June 2010 as a Heroic Age title? You know what's gonna be an ONGOING TITLE? And has RIKKI BARNES IN IT?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I'M IN SUCH A GOOD MOOD!

That's right, it's Young Allies. Well done you for reading the title of the post.

Now, some of you might well be wondering why I care so much, and indeed why this gets a post on a site that has by and large dropped posting anything other than rambling alphabet related tripe. And I'll tell you why. I, Max Barnard, LOVE Rikki Barnes. So much so that in the build-up to the Nomad: Girl Without A World I made no less than a WHOLE BUNCH of posts about ANYTHING that cropped up to do with the series, a series that did in fact turn out to be the BEST mini of 2009, HANDS DOWN. So when I say that you should be stoked for Young Allies and should in fact be adding it to your shopping lists for June (I mean you all make shopping lists that far ahead right? right.), you can bloody well believe I'm right on the money.

Anyway, what should you expect from this apparent 'best series to keep an eye out for this year because a dude called Max says so'? Well for one thing a helluva line-up. Young Allies promises to have Nomad (Rikki Barnes), fresh from her own mini-series and Captain America back-up tales ready to kick arse and take names alongside Arana, who has been appearing alongside her in said back-ups and proving to be a wonderful team-mate to Rikki. Alongside that pairing we have Gravity, Mckeever's own AWESOME creation from a few years back that's gone through the wringer a little, having kinda died in BEYOND! and also having resurfaced in Fantastic Four a while afterwards, Toro (a new guy who has powers relating more to a bull than a flaming WWII veteran) and the 'kinda a bit too old for a team with 'young' in the title by now surely' character Firestar, fresh from... Surviving cancer. It's a team so off-kilter compared to the usual dreck we're getting nowadays that it's pretty much guaranteed awesome.

Alongside the great non-team (as Mckeever assures us is the case. which is unusual but hey) we have an interestingly named group of villains known only as the 'Bastards of Evil'. Which as far as unusual names go is right up there with... something.

Of course the final step to sell you on this ONGOING (remember when great ideas would get ongoings and make it past issue 5? make that happen. go on.) is to tell you of the creative team.

Surely you all know of Sean Mckeever, whether for some brilliant Teen Titans material (which some people are down on for some weird reason but screw those guys, right?), his Gravity mini-series, his Nomad mini-series, his 12 issue Inhumans series, his Sentinel mini-series and Spider-Man loves Mary Jane. All of which are great. Or at the least good. Mckeever rarely disappoints, especially when writing young characters.

David Baldeon is also an excellent person to have on the creative side of things, as his recent art duties on Nomad were performed more than admirably, creating an emotive and beautiful work that really just emphasises how much more work the man needs with Marvel. Thankfully that itch is gonna be scratched here, and it's a pretty safe guess that he'll continue to bring his A game throughout. (note: he'll also be doing the Gravity story in Age of Heroes, so look for some pretty are THERE too)

And if you REALLY want a bonus to make you jump on board, the first cover appears to be a Wraparound effort from none other than David Lafuente, another artist I can do nothing other than LOVE nowadays. Of course if it ISN'T a wraparound cover then hey, at least you can see this awesome piece of Lafuente art promoting what is 99% likely to be THE series to read this year.

Ya know, unless you think that one of those Avengers titles will be better (hint: they won't).


related links:

Marvel.com article
Comic Book Resources article
Newsarama Interview

Flippin' Rantin' Revoltin' Reviews: Pixie Strikes Back (+ bit about the Justice League)

It isn't often that I feel the need to break self-imposed restrictions on myself and in fact I've stuck pretty well to my guns on the whole 'no more weekly reviews' stuff, but I'm breaking that this week. "But why?", I hear the voices in my head say. And I'll tell them: Because this week two fucking PUTRID comics came out this week. Two comics so bloody awful that I haven't been quite able to vent my rage through the usual means of not shutting up to anyone I know about how much I hate them.

I am in fact talking bout X-Men: Pixie Strikes Back #1 (of 4) and Justice League of America #42.

Now, just to be clear before I go blasting my head off, JLA 42 could be a perfectly average comic to any other person and I DO feel like the apparent line-up of JLA members Robinson is putting together is promising (save the fact that he threw in Mon-El, who I DO love, but am aware will be dead soon enough). BUT, and it is a big but, this issue has one of my biggest grievances with any comic in recent months. It has a horrible rendition of the Metal Men and Magnus that looks awful and feels wrong. And it's barely a cameo at that.

And I LOVE the Metal Men. But that's the only problem I feel I should mention in a world that apparently is focused on calling Robinson an awful writer now (I love his Mon-El Superman so I try to be receptive). It's a pretty bad comic, but not one that deserves me ranting about things I probably don't understand.

(advance warning: this review essentially devolves me into a typical comic book fan, moaning endlessly about things that are unimportant in incredibly flawed arguments that make me a self-righteous prick.)

HIT THE JUMP TO FIND OUT WHY I FIND THESE COMICS REVOLTIN' DEVELOPMENTS!

X-Men: Pixie Strikes Back #1 (of 4):
COVER BY: Stuart Immonen
WRITER: Kathryn Immonen
PENCILS: Sara Pichelli
COLOURS: Christina Strain

REVIEW: To say that this comic irks me is a pretty big understatement. It's AWFUL. And not only that, but it was promoted in a pretty horrifically bad way.

Kicking things off I feel the need to mention how much I hated, HATED, Immonen and Pichelli's run on Runaways. I mean here was a book that had just had a pretty bad start to it's third numbering, and I was ready to take ANYTHING over what had come to pass (though to be honest the series had been pretty mediocre in the Whedon arc too. Consider this BKV blue balls if you want). So as someone who'd liked what he'd seen of Immonen's work on Hellcat and Pichelli's work on NYX, it seemed a no-brainer to check out their work there. Bad idea. The character's all felt like they had the wrong voices and the art looked like drug addicts trying to reflect how they felt kids look nowadays (this may actually be due to the fucking rosy cheeks and tired eyes on everyone, but then I'm just picking apart something here), to say nothing of the plot developments themselves. It's probably up there with some of the worst comics I've read.
The hate I know for this page alone is so intense that I'm actually just a pathetic fanboy.

*sigh* Sorry, I'm just straight up attacking here, it may as well just be an actual attack on the creators here. But that isn't what I'm about, and all people involved are genuinely nice people from all I see of them on twitter and the like. I'm just trying to establish how low my expectations were for this comic before the preview even hit online.

(here's the preview, as hosted on CBR)

But OH MY GOD that preview. A preview, as we all well know, is supposed to highlight what the contents of the comic will be like, what to expect from the writing and the plot, and to see how the interior pencils look. Whilst the latter is achieved, showcasing some rough yet visually... interesting... art (helped by some decent colours from Christina Strain), it cocks up massively at everything else, not helped by how the opening of the comic is essentially a weird mindscape/brainwashed experience that ultimately involves the characters all being out of character.

Now, here's where the problem arises: the solicit says they're going to high school (though the hell hint might make some people realise it'll be fake somehow? I don't know). The PREVIEW shows them at high school, acting incredibly out of character, with other students beating each other up to the point of teeth flying out their skulls. Then we proceed to get them all chatting and being idiots in the girl's toilets. Which is SO classy. And all of this comes across as stupid, base and horrifically pandering to some sort of stupid teen crowd. If it weren't for Blindfold being there with eyes (something that wouldn't be noticable to anyone who forgot that her name is Ruth Aldine) you would think that Immonen was deliberately out to have the characters be like this in the full comic. Which they might not be. In fact, the comic could theoretically have good character renditions throughout the other 2 issues.

The point is that the preview was a complete FAILURE.

And the rest of the issue isn't exactly much better. You get Blindfold staring at a locker in the girls' bathroom in reality, with Sancho and Victor finding her and talking to her about where the others are. Which would be a nice scene, hinting at how wrong everything is that we've just seen, except we get SANCHO PLAYING WITH A TAMPON and suddenly realising it might well be the girls' bathroom. There's... just.... Christ... Okay. Let's continue whilst I try to maintain some semblance of integrity on this straight out rant.

We return to the high school with some stuff that doesn't entirely make sense because it's all not real or whatever, demons appear, Pixie wakes up, asks for her mother to be called and is drugged up by demon nurses. This is actually kinda intriguing, so I can't slam on it, and indeed is the steam I need to see if the second issue will improve. But THEN we get to another big hole of shit: Nightcrawler, Psylocke, and Pixie's mother. Which I can express as involving the statement 'Donald Duck Fart'. This is a comic that's ALMOST more juvenile than a Jeph Loeb comic.

.... Okay, okay that's kinda mean to both Immonen and Loeb. I'll try to moan less and just express my issues with this.

The scene is basically Pixie's mother turning up at the island, being irrational toward Nightcrawler and Psylocke, who are acting entirely stupid. We get some vague stuff about how Pixie's father isn't a coal miner and Pixie's mother goes away.

Then we get more demons, Pixie realises she has wings and my willpower to read flickers into existence. Though just before that we get THIS wonderfully drawn panel:

I'm sure some people are fans of this art (and this is evident in the abundance of fans of that Runaways run I hate so very much), but this... just looks awful. to say nothing of how the second panel seems to just be the typical yelling face that I feel I saw constantly from Molly in Runaways. Though to be fair, that third panel? Freakin' amazingly drawn!

*Ahem* Anyway, then a bigass demon appears that is said to be Pixie's father. Of course solicits for issue 4 say its Mastermind, but that's part of the plot and this cliffhanger actually works.

The biggest problem here is that this comic is outright BAD. There's little to redeem it and has some incredibly frustrating elements to it that remove and semblance of logic or relatable qualities. The characters all feel wrong and do some outright stupid things. Not just that but in a year that promises to highlight the qualities of women creators and characters this is actually detrimental.

But then I'm not a woman. And there ARE people who like this, I'm sure. So tell me I'm wrong. Please. Because I don't want to be full of this much hate. Especially as I make no sense.

Proposal: A Crisis On Infinite Blogs

It's not often that I have ideas I desperately want people to notice. In no small part is this because my usual ideas involve me doing something monumentally stupid to entertain myself or my peers. However, this isn't one of those times. This is the time to throw my hat into the comics blogging ring with an idea that's probably occurred to people more often than not (in fact I'm fairly sure that I've gotten this idea from others in the past bringing it up, but I can't entirely remember).

A collaborative blog formed of writers from other blogs, with the intention of creating epic group posts that achieve more than any writer alone could manage (in that it's varied viewpoints or pieces all combined into one uber-post).

A Justice League of Bloggerdom, if you will. For a Crisis On Infinite Blogs.

Now, there are in fact flaws to this. Some comics blogs obviously had multiple contributors anyway and could well achieve the same results as this with their own collective staff. I hope that this issue is subverted by the fact that the people involved could all diversify the Crisis On Infinite Blog posts by bringing their own unique angles and talents that have in fact made their own blogs different from the next.

I'm stumbling over the concept here (which is hopefully an indication of my own difference from other bloggers by being a rambling buffoon), so let's see if it makes more sense by involving a twitter topic that came up from Primewax and JLAvenger earlier today due to the big DC staff announcement:

(twitter account names are used for convenience)

The basic idea was that Primewax and JLAvenger had become the head co-publishers at Marvel, what changes they'd make and such. This grew to include Cyclopsfan1 and myself, who were put in charge of the X-titles and All-Ages titles respectively. We then all proceeded to lay out our plans for new titles and changes in staff and characters in our respective areas (with Primewax taking on the cosmic titles as well, I hasten to add) and indeed in conjunction with each other.

Now, if this were put into a post, with us all detailing our thoughts and plans, collaborating and utilising each other's ideas to further our own, we'd have one of the most comprehensive, interesting and even potentially humourous posts possible, with each section of the post having it's own defined voice brought about by the multitude of bloggers we'd have in on the article.

It'd require a heck of a lot of communication between the collaborators, but that's the sort of thing the internet is tailor-made for, as we all well know.

The content would of course be agreed upon and stay in the realm of epic posts that are enhanced by this sort of massive undertaking and people that would be involved, and people can drop in or out as the project continues.

It's a pretty solid idea that would help promote everyone involved in their personal endeavours and give us all something different to do compared to our usual work on our own blogs/journals/sites/etcetera.

So hopefully this idea has intrigued you (and why wouldn't it? I mean you've probably come up with this long before me and are wondering why I'm failing to make it sound amazing when you could probably do far better!) and you'll either show your interest here, on my twitter, or by my e-mail ( noodleslovesyou@hotmail.co.uk ) and we'll be able to get this conceptual ball rolling!

Thanks for reading and hopefully I'll hear from some of you fellow bloggers.

Robbie: Wise as Shit #2: Valentine's Day

On Valentine's day, give her flowers for a pleasant evening of amorous fun.

Just make sure you got Jonah his coffee first or he'll start banging on your window mid-coitus and won't. leave. me. alone.

You Know, He WAS Born Better

HELMUT FLIPPIN' ZEMO IS BACK IN CAPTAIN AMERICA #606!

And I just want you to know that I WILL fucking cut you all if he doesn't match up to the complex and amazingly developed character that I fell in love with back when Thunderbolts was an amazing title about redemption.

I mean we're talking about one of my favourite characters of all time.

... that is all.

EDIT: GOD DAMN IT ALL! Brubaker has since said in another interview that Zemo will be a straight up villain.

source: Comic Book Resources

Return of Robbie: Wise as Shit #1

You know what they say about pissing into the wind?

Completely wrong if your legs have been stung by a jellyfish.

Robbie, OUT!

(remember these? well... they're back. any time I think of peculiar, pointless and unfunny wisdowm, I'll have the wise as shit Joseph 'Robbie' Robertson say it, pretending that it's genius all the time. And you'll NEVER KNOW!)

That Is Why: I Love Chamber pt. 1 (or: Why Generation X Was Flippin' Brilliant In The 90s)

It's no secret to the world that I am a massive fan of Marvel's mutant comics. I constantly rave about them here on the site, I tell my friends how annoyed I am at how my favourite million and one mutants aren't being used anymore, constantly promise to make a list of my favourite muties and of course have read far more of the X-Men lines than anyone should ever read.

It's also no secret that Uncanny X-Men has been like 90% balls over the last 20 years so I won't talk about that very much.

No instead I'll talk about the one mutant I love like no other, the one which the internet wishes I never mentioned and indeed the mutant of whom's miniseries only I felt like voting for in a recent poll because people are ignorant.

Yes, I'm talking about Jonothan Starsmore, better known as Chamber and lesser known as Decibel.

The. Best. Mutant. EVER.

So what better way to ring in 2010 than to spend the WHOLE year doing That Is Why posts about him and everything related to him, in my epic quest to prove that A) Chamber is awesome, B) I should be writing a Chamber ongoing and C) Marvel need to use Chamber more. And some other stuff but never mind that.

This first part exists purely because of a twitter convo between myself and Primewax (these sorta posts keep happening) wherein he declared Silver Surfer the only good 90s comic as Silver Surfer. Of course he's wrong, because Generation X came out in the 90s. So I am defending the awesomeness of Generation X (you know it's from the 90s 'cause I keep saying awesome for some reason) and he will be declaring how awesome 90s Surfer was at some point.

So let's jump in to what will be the first part of my year long (because I take ages to update) foray into stuff no-one remembers or cares about!

HIT THE JUMP TO UNDERSTAND WHY GENERATION X WAS THE BEST COMIC OF THE 90s!

For those who aren't particularly up on their mutant history (and let's face it, with how much of a hit and miss crapfest it's been over the years that's not exactly a hard group to fall into) Generation X is a comic that span fantastically out of the unique-as-all-heck crossover The Phalanx Covenant, which not kept the X-Men themselves in minor roles but set up a new class of mutants, under the tutelage of Banshee and Emma Frost. The concept of the new class help up well, especially due to the absence of the usually incompetent Charles Xavier (who should REALLY have a superhero name. BaldMind perhaps? I don't know, it bugs me), and thus the series was born.

Generation X had some very simple ideas behind it, which you can actually count on one hand, as thus:

... What, you expected it to be funny? This is ME we're talking about here.

By throwing the team of kiddos together they managed to get the concept to work right off the bat and for the majority of the comic's history this held true, despite changes in the creative team or the freakishly poor timed switch to the Age of Apocalypse after the 4th issue. Now, keep in mind this was in the 90s, where comics fall apart into incomprehensible mess the second they attach themselves to the X-Men line, where in general most comics sucked. So how in the hell did this manage such a feat? The characters for one.

You may not know it now, what with her being another one of Uncanny's snooty, 'sexy' identikit ladies of no real personality, but Emma Frost was a very interesting character to have as a teacher for this new generation of mutants, mostly due to her formerly being the EVIL teacher of the Hellions back in the heyday of New Mutants. As such her mildly heroic twist here to raise and care for these new and increasingly unusual mutants was one of the more interesting aspects of the series, especially as time went on and she showed how much she had bonded with her students and indeed the other teacher, Sean Cassidy.

Banshee (you remember Banshee right?) really does come into his own here. A character that has often felt neglected in his many years as an X-Man thrives here in an environment that places him away from his relationship with Moira MacTaggert and into the supervisory role of a teacher, and though the cliché is painful as all hell, he really learns a lot from his students. They show capabilities beyond what he thinks they'd be able and emotional strength that he can only wish he could replicate as his beloved Moira catches the deadly Legacy virus. His road as a teacher is a long one, with a surprising amount of depth to it compared to the blind errors and injustices committed by a certain bald guy frequently.

Now, if you were alive at ANY point towards the end of the 20th century, you've probably heard of Jubilation Lee.... Unless you haven't which is perfectly reasonable I guess.... *ahem* ANYWAY, Jubilee has a very special role in Generation X: she's Kitty Pryde, in Claremont-era New Mutants. The experienced mutant, member of the X-Men, and person who comes off like an arsehole for being smarmy about her accomplishments. The way she escapes this carbon copy role is simply by being Jubilee, one of the most well developed teen characters in any comic ever. Here she shares that development with others, helping them with their issues and forming a strong friendship with her classmate Synch. It's all small stuff, but Jubilee is really stretched in Generation X into a character that people can be proud isn't that annoying little girl from the the X-Men 90s show. Well, all that and she isn't suddenly white, as in the Generation X TV special.

I COULD try and explain the continuity nightmare that is Monet St. Croix in this article, but rest assured it will just hurt your head. And mine. The basics of it all is that she's a couple a twins who appear autistic when combined in her form (remember those 'real world issues'?) but no-one else knows that and the real Monet was kidnapped by her evil brother Emplate years prior. Oh and her mentor leads Generation X outside one stormy night where the REAL Monet has escaped from Emplate and is stuck in the ADORABLE monstrous form known as Penance.

No, not that Penance! Learn your unimportant comics history, dammit!

mmmmmmmmmmuch better! Penance, my darling mute who cuts things up with a touch, you were too good for your plot developments.... *ahem* moving on!

Penance/Monet is a particularly interesting character from the get-go, due to her sudden appearance, mystery identity and early bond formed with Chamber, that somehow got relegated so he could have a doomed relationship with Husk (Paige Guthrie). Perhaps the biggest misfire in the entire series, Penance eventually kinda disappeared when the twins impersonating Monet switched with her and fused with the evil brother to make M-Plate. OR something like that. It's no lie to say that this stuff is all buttfuck insane, though compelling as it plays out.



The other characters are a mixed bag of above average awesomeness. Contained in the pages of Gen X we have Husk (pre-Chuck Austen whore-up version), Leech and Artie (whom will always rule some small part of my heart), Skin (you don't even care who he is do you?) and of course, Chamber.

I... FUCKEN'... LUURRRRRRRRRRRVE.... CHAMBER!

But we'll be getting to that in more depth in the coming months, so I'll keep it light on his involvement with the series in this part. Suffice to say he's a cornerstone of angst, love and character development and any arc he's in is a powerful arc indeed.

In fact the story as a whole is usually grade A, from the opening 3 issues in all of its tightly wound framing to later arcs such as one where they end up in a fantasy realm where Skin tries to look tough to a FLIPPIN' DRAGON it's all entertaining stuff. And even if an arc doesn't seem to be very interesting or crucial when it's occurring, by the end you'll have seen some real change in the characters as they learn from the experiences they've survived through.

Well... Survived may not be the best word for it. Banshee is dead. Synch is dead. Husk became a whore. Skin is dead. Jubilee is depowered. There's some other Penance going around who isn't as good as the Monet one's early appearances. Chamber was depowered and has since become infused with the power and looks of his ancestor APOCALYPSE. Artie is depowered. The only characters who seem to still be wholly intact are Leech, Emma Frost and Monet, and even then one's criminally ignored, another might die in a coming crossover and the final one... Well actually Monet is still going from strength to strength. Seriously, go read Peter David's X-Factor, support the only strong link in the Gen X chain!

I've kinda gone off kilter here from my original intent of showing why Generation X was a wonderful 90s series, so I'll make my stand here. Generation X was a shining gem in a dark period of Marvel history (especially for the X-books), with plots and characters that were at their best (though Emma Frost may well have risen above her role here in the coming years) against the wave of awful titles that were hitting the shelves at the same time. It made mutants cool again, something that kids wanted to be like (or at least I did. their lives were so exciting!), recapturing that same spirit of youthful fun and empathetic characterisations that made Marvel comics work in the first place. There's nothing that can take away the experience of Generation X, nor is there any way that it could ever return following the systematic elimination of every character.

But that doesn't mean that the comic can't be enjoyed by those willing to go back and read those issues. Sure there's not ultimate collection, essentials book or reprint trades. But that just makes tracking it down all the more fun.

Go on, do it. Then you'll see why this IS the good 90s comic.


EXTRA BIT: it's hit me I didn't mention the fact that the early creative team and guiding lights for this series were the inimitable Chris Bachalo and Scott Lobdell. If you don't know those two names you're a fool for one and missing out for another. Look up some stuff they've worked on and you'll see it's usually amazing stuff. That and this is Bachalo before his current art shift into a hellishly unique style, so it's like you get to see how he developed from one unique style to one completely different.

Next up: An introduction to why Chamber is amazing!

though before that I have some more fun and less painful to read stuff coming up, like more A to Z and a couple of new things to make this place look more active. Now to hide!

Saving S.W.O.R.D. (Or How I Learnt To Worry A Lot & Be Part Of An Internet Campaign

AAAAAARGH WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON I DON'T POST ON MY SITE THAT'S RIDICULOUS WHAT ARE YOU DOING READING THIS GO AWAY YOU ALL SMELL OR SOMETHING!

..... phew. I am at peace again... OH SH-

WAIT WAIT I HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO WRITE ABOUT PAY ATTENTION I LOVE YOU ALL ESPECIALLY THAT GUY WHO SMELLS LIKE POO! STAY AND READ! AND LEARN!

Okay? Okay.

YOU aren't reading S.W.O.R.D.. I specifically mean you. Yes, you with your copies of sub-par series like Uncanny X-Men, Hulk or Dark Avengers. You aren't reading S.W.O.R.D. and the world hates you for it. How can anyone expect comics to progress as an art form when you swan around buying whatever mainstream adolescent crap that you love out of some freakish love for self abuse and a profound joy found in being oblivious to anything that's genuinely brilliant. You fuck.

Of course if you buy S.W.O.R.D. disregard all of that preceding nonsense. Instead of taking that abuse just tell EVERYONE you know to buy S.W.O.R.D.! It's a decent first action before you do your part to save such a brilliant gem from cancellation.

By now you either know what I'm on about, are offended horrifically, have fucked off, or are wondering why I'm going on about S.W.O.R.D., whatever the hell that may be.

Well, I'll tell you. S.W.O.R.D. is a brilliant series spinning out of Whedon's Astonishing X-Men (remember how good that was? This is better) and forming itself in the aftermath of both Secret Invasion and Beast's leaving of the X-Men (remember those plot points? This is better), written by the amazing Kieron Gillen (of Phonogram, Beta Ray Bill: Godhunter and THOR fame) and illustrated by the inimitable Steven Sanders. It follows the organisation of the same name and their wacky misadventures up on the Spire, their bigass satellite space station. More specifically it's about Abigail Brand and her stern kinkiness, Beast and his quirky loveable sciencist...ness, Lockheed and his drunkenness, Sydren and his bit-roleness, Unit and his would-probably-skin-you-after-tricking-the-fuck-out-of-you-in-a-very-evil-wayishness and Henry Peter Gyrich and his being SPACE NICK GRIFFIN..ness.

Oh and it has Death's Head in it. Which is AWESOME!

The first three issues are out at the moment and they've thrown some brilliant plots into the mix already, between Death's Head hunting the half-brother of Brand (on her father's side, so he's all green and furry), Sydren trying to stall for time in a meeting with people who want to take all of our women-folk or some such thing, a mysterious spooky signal that no-one bothered to investigate and Henry Peter Gyrich trying to get every alien forcibly removed from Earth. Now, ALL of these plot points get suitable airing, with character moments galore throughout. This juggles balls better than any comic about. Heck, it juggles balls better than the best Jongleur in all of France!

And yet, it isn't selling more than a few thousand copies each issue. Because people are ignoring it for one reason or another. And ALL of those reasons are BAD REASONS. Especially that one about Beast looking so different. I mean he's ruddy adorable! JUST LOOK AT HIM:
Actually Brand looks quite nice there too...

Anyway, all I've done is ramble in expository and aggressive manners. But that's the problem here, it's THAT good that it's incredibly hard to know where to start making it sound as good as it really is. I'm not a comic writer (yet) and don't have the tools neccesary to eloquently talk about comics as well as normal as I'm in the middle of a big brain fart or something that makes even writing a guest post for another site a never-ending task of writers block and the like. It's easy enough to rant on twitter about how awful a comic is or something, it's just hitting my head against a wall. But when it comes to trying to describe all the reasons that a comic floors me straight up with the sheer power of awesome I'm stumped. So just trust me when I say YOU need to be buying this series.
Ah, nothing like some good banter between characters to prove that it's awesome.
AND if you already are there are ways to show your support for this series.

• First up is to tell people you know to buy it. It's a simple idea and creates a chain effect that would lead to far better sales with enough luck and willpower. And if you know them in person you can show them an issue you own to tease them into it.

• The second way is to jump onto twitter and talk about how awesome it is to all your followers and adding #savesword to your tweet. Or if you're feeling experimental you can make your statements more intricate by living the wonderful existence granted to a freelance peace-keeping agent and #talklikedeathshead when you are promoting the brilliance of the Sentient World Observation and Response Department.

• The third (and I'm weirdly fond of this one) is to go to Nerderyblog and print out the PDF files contained on the page linked to, fill them out and send 'em off to show your love for S.W.O.R.D. the only way people know how to: with a love heart and a furry guy.

So that's my incredibly scatty piece on one of my favourite series (and the ONLY Marvel ongoing I am guaranteed to buy each month) that I thoroughly encourage you to buy. As does everyone's favourite Freelance Peace-Keeping Agent:


-Flip the Page OUT! (to hide and never update)

TOTCU: Kick-Ass has a shiny new Green-Band trailer

Here's the new trailer for Kick-Ass:

The low-down on the plotline for those who don't know (or Mark Millar haters who don't WANT to know):

Kick-Ass tells the story of average teenager Dave Lizewski (Aaron Johnson), a comic-book fanboy who decides to take his obsession as inspiration to become a real-life superhero. As any good superhero would, he chooses a new name — Kick-Ass — assembles a suit and mask to wear, and gets to work fighting crime. There’s only one problem standing in his way: Kick-Ass has absolutely no superpowers. His life is forever changed as he inspires a subculture of copy cats, is hunted by assorted violent and unpleasant characters, and meets up with a pair of crazed vigilantes, including the 11-year-old sword-wielding dynamo known as Hit Girl (Chloe Moretz) and her father, Big Daddy (Nicolas Cage).


Ok, my opinion. I believe this shows a film that will do what is says it does; Kick Ass. The action and the comedy seem to be solidly in place for some mindless free-for-all in a 'real world'. However, I am not convinced that it will be the wildest of rides, namely in involves the idea that Lizewski would instantly become a success (I DON'T READ COMICS, if this is a plot point, forgive me) and spawn copycats. The idea of subculture does highlight some cool mojo that could be in place here ala 'The Warriors' but what I really want to understand is that what obsticals does Kick-Ass have to actually face except the lack of powers.

Thinking about it, Batman doesn't have powers (they do mention Batman by the way in the trailer), which leads me to believe that in the trailer, this world has no concept of masked vigiligantism? Well, take a news report with some idiot in a costume (I am not talking about Fathers for Justice, they are not idiots) and there you go.

Problematic. As well as this, the first teaser highlighted it well: The Insanity Aspect. In a normal Superhero film, liberties are taken with this aspect. Helps with my theory of why the Punisher films never succeed as one of its ingredients. We have seen in the trailer, Big Daddy and Hit Girl are fully capable of destorying opponants and it might look cool but 1.) Two distinct personalities of a father and daughter and 2.) A FATHER AND DAUGHTER INVOLVED IN WHOLESALE KILLING. I am alright with this aspect of unbelievablity but I cannot really get into the idea that they are trying to make it realistic but not actually showing the real insanity that these characters have (minus Kick-Ass).

But really, if I don't think about it, it will be a fun film for... all the men in life (and women, because they have to put a kissing scene in a fraction of a second to keep the girls happy and allow their boyfriends to take them. Can't people stop with that? RANT ON I mean, come on, women do not always need that type of stupid mockery. Of course do it for a RomCom because you expect it, but for this type of film, that is just being biased to societal mistreatment. RANT OVER).

Brainless but fun. Synder and Tarantino would be proud with its overstylization and reckless violence (and in the case of Synder, needless), and could be a fun ride to see in the cinema.

Performance wise, I actually enjoy it and I love the inclusion of Mark Strong as the villian for he is one of the best character actors working today and Nicolas Cage is getting better again until Season of the Witch comes out and reminds people of how bad he is sometimes. The main role looks like a career making start and generally, the character seems like the nicest guy to start knowing outside of a criminal situation. Maybe in a comic book shop.

I could not get a good hook onto the other characters but stock friends help in a respect to the pathelic character, and Hit Girl seems like a one-note joke that every fanboy will go mental for.

All in all: SEE.

I SUMMON FLIP THE PAGE FOR HIS OPINION (if he has time, and I did promise a cookie)

*SHAZAM*

SOCKAMAGEE! Turns out that as well as being a revived Black Lantern, noir-style mutant detective AND a comics critic I'm also CAPTAIN MARVEL!

*ahem* Anyway, I'm here for once (on my OWN SITE?! Say it ain't so!) to throw in the comics fan's opinion on this stuff. What can I say? I've never read Kick-Ass out of a want to A) not risk the sort of Millar error that can happen with crap like Wanted and B) it helps to not read a comic before the movie version. only bad things can happen. So it's with a relatively uninformed mind that I can say that this is pretty bloody cool.

It has that dangerous element in making a comic book fan the centrepiece of the story, something that can either lead to great empathy on the viewer's part or the feeling that you're being horribly insulted throughout with how our horrific community is represented. Thankfully from the new trailer this is looking more like the former and less like Superboy Prime levels of hate. Whether the film maintains this is the crucial point in whether this will go down as a classic or as just another offensive action wank-fest.

Not that wank-fest is the best choice of words here, because the most significant girl role is the horror that is Hit Girl. It's not that there's anything in particular about a swearing ultra-violent kid that puts me off this movie except EVERYTHING ABOUT HER! I get that it's supposed to offend my sensibilities but it comes off as the sort of juvenile crap that most people think goes hand in hand with a 'mature' comic nowadays.

But then despite those gripes this looks genuinely good. It looks like it falls somewhere in between the Fox side of things where everything is changed to the point of barely resembling the source material and the Snyder side of things where it's so exact that the fun is taken out of the movie for the most part. And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is the place that any comic book movie would want to be.

That and Nicholas Cage actually seems to be good in the trailer, which is bloody unprecedented for this decade!

Now I must fly off to help fight off the waves of bad characterisation coming from the realms of comicdom and to... attempt to write my own articles instead of piggybacking off of my dear regular guest writer. CAPTAIN MARVEL AWAY!