Quick-Fire Things I Don't Want To Review But Have An Opinion On

A slightly lax approach today, where I'mma just address things from last week that I have opinions on but really can't be arsed to review.

Runaways has not been worth the time of day since it's latest renumbering (though some could argue Joss Whedon's arc lacked BKV's spark.

As such the bitch isn't worth my time anymore. The thing that tipped me over the edge?

Nico hooking up with Chase AGAIN (this makes her the biggest slut of the group and that's such a lame characterisation). Oh yeah that and nonchalantly dropping their first frog vehicle THAT HAS A FUCKING PERSONALITY YOU JERKS. No image for that one though. Oh and the art's REALLY bad now. In fact I don't even know why I've read it. RUNAWAYS, FUCK OFF. YOU'RE DONE.

The Incredible Hulk is actually pretty good, though I'm still just reading it for the Savage She-Hulk backup.

Seriously it's great to have an Olivetti Hulk book (his art actually suits overmuscular giants ya see) and the first 'proper' issue last week has had some great writing from Greg Pak, but Van Lente's Savage She-Hulk backup has pretty much punched that in the nuts and decided it's more awesome. And outside of the art slipping a bit it pretty much has.

Look at that bottom panel and tell me I'm wrong, I fucking dare you!

New Mutants is still one of the two best X-books around...

The other being X-Factor of course. I was going to review this but kinda figured I shouldn't review the same series issue after issue. Just trust me when I say that if you're not following it you are a TOOL.

..... And X-Force is probably the worst book being released by Marvel

Yeah, worse than Loeb's Hulk. I mean it. A) Necrosha's build up, something I was SURE wouldn't look like a complete rip-off of Blackest Night.... Does.

Seriously. Fucking awful. Caliban is the Black Hand. Also B) they can't pay enough attention to which arm is cut off of X-23.

Right Arm to Left Arm in the space of ONE PANEL!

Which whilst hilarious also kinda sickens me as the whole scene is basically something out of a really sick Guro comic. Just stay the fuck away from this abomination and we shall never speak of it again.

.... Oh yeah and C) Rahne feel character assassinated compared to her X-Factor days. This pisses me off.

Wolverine HATES film piracy!

'Nuff said? Wolverine First Class actually matters this week as we get the origin of Jamie Madrox's dupes going out to learn stuff, including the fact that one of the first batch will become James Maddox! This is awesome.

See? Awesome.

Cow Variants are awesome

Skrull Kill Krew needs a small trophy... Or higher sales.

Other things

Guardians of the Galaxy has gone completely and utterly hatstand at the moment, with crazy shit happening all over the place. Read it already!

Beta Ray Bill now has a partner to try and procreate his species with. That won't work in the long run but still how nice.

DON'T pull Herc's finger

Okay and that's a new approach of not reviewing anything but still saying things. Whaddaya think?

Flip The Page Review: Incredible Hercules #132

I. LOVE. HERCULES.

Not literally, that would involve a large amount of combining reality with myth, marvel comics and potentially time travel failing the marvel part. No, I'm talking particularly of the comic THE INCREDIBLE HERCULES, a series that has not yet managed to be anything other than hilarious and awesome since it replaced The Incredible Hulk post-World War Hulk. Heck, the Sacred Invasion arc is the highlight of Secret Invasion!

So as such I decided to review the latest issue, the start of 'THE REPLACEMENT THOR' arc. Sure it's a week old now but it took a while to get round to doing it.

HIT THE JUMP TO READ THE REVIEW ALONG WITH MAYBE 2 OR 3 OTHER READERS OR SOMETHING!


When this arc was first announced a fair few people were skeptical, especially those who just refuse to fathom how Gods can exist from both Norse and Greek mythology, let alone cross over as such. I however am first to cry foul of people not suspending disbelief in a world with a man who can climb shit and a young boy who can make ENTIRE OTHER PLANETS, and as such embraced my beloved beardy-man's new guise with great love in my heart and I can say with my head held high that I was 100% right and.... That it doesn't really matter anyway.

The writing is Greg Pak (whose work on Planet Hulk and World War Hulk stands up there with some of Peter David's legendary 12 year run) and Fred Van Lente. If that last name didn't make you groan then you obviously haven't read enough of my posts here. Van Lente is one of many writers who in time will be the best in the business, if not of all time then certainly for the future. The double-team of these names have managed to churn out a comic with no weak issues yet, and this one is no exception, written as tightly as... a..... tight.... piece of writing?

... I'm not sure what happened there, so let's move on to the art.

Before talking about Reilly Brown's stellar pencils I have to bring up Rafael Albuquerque's cover, which I should have taken a right turn at (Bugs Bunny jokes are lame, I know shut up). It's a truly eye-catching and beautiful piece of art and if it doesn't make this issue sell like a motherfucker I will be beyond words with shock. Reilly Brown only improves upon this with some vibrant and enticing pencils in the actual issue and knocks me away with some of the best visuals this side of artists like Mike Allred, Stuart Immonen, Kyle Hotz and Amanda Conner. Wait is there another artist I wanna suck up to?.... Humberto Ramos. Yeah, now I've namedropped enough.

TIME FOR THE MOMENTS TIME NOW YES?

1. Thor's Origin Riffed To Hell

Because if YOU were the much more awesome Hercules you too would take the piss out of Thor's weak-ass origin. Hilarious as hell and grabs ya, much like the Agents of Atlas recaps have been doing until recently.

2. Ugly Bird People In Your Grill (Or Ripping Off Your Roof)

Nice to see that harpy things have the common decency for good comic timing (Hercules having just regaled Zeus with how he is the favourite son and no longer looked at him as an incompetent buffoon after the recent hell arc thing). Ugly things, but make for an interesting image that touches your goolies in nice ways.... Let's pretend I said something cooler there.

3. Balder The..... Brave?

"Oh I'm Balder the brave, look how brave I am running like a sissy from some monster things! Waaaaaaah" or something. Still looks awesome and despite how it isn't REALLY Balder it IS nice to see him in his pre-ragnorok clothes.

4. Explosions Are Cool!!!!!!

Some superheroes would have a convoluted and drawn out plan to deal with a monster. Hercules just hits it WITH A FUCKING CAR! Awesome. And Pretty. Oh yeah gotta sound like a critic... BOOM WHEEE EXPLOSIONS!

5. This Is A Page With Some Weather. Which Is Awesome.

I hate child characters, but Reilly Brown has made me want a poster of this page. Seriously if anyone can hook me up with something like that let me know. Also of note: the whole replacement Thor thing works out ever so well with the Zeus the THUNDER GOD hanging around. It's almost too convenient...

6. Like A Hammer, But A Mace!

I've always been fond of Hercules' mace, so perhaps this flippin' moment gets some bias from me, but it really stands out, along with most of the gold-framed pages, and has the most childlike glee on Herc's face since....

Oh GOD, the legendary grin he gave Amadeus when the young lad was totally scoring! THE HORROR!

7. Inside The (text) Box

"Okay," I hear you say. "It looks nice and epic, but then it's just a text heavy big panel." No. No it isn't. It's a very VERY small text box hidden away:

I love these things, especially one as self-congratulatory as this. You stop for the big picture and then see the text box and you're hooked; This comic must be yours.

8. SCIENCE!

Dream Amadeus cameo ALMOST makes up for him being absent this issue (which sure, is a plotline but fuck that I want me some genius stuff as well as boneheaded hilarity!). Probably the comedy highlight this issue, but I'm indecisive and not very competent at this whole critic thing.

9. Malekith The A-wha?

"I'M SO FUCKING EVIL THAT WHEN I REVEAL WHO I AM TO NO-ONE IN PARTICULAR THAT I HAVE TO RIP UP MY MAGICALLY CREATED DISGUISE! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"

If this is serious it's so awful. If it's a delightful parody of how villains often pull this shit then it's GENIUS.

10. Next Issue's Cover

Okay this is a cheat. But c'mon, floating brains attacking Amadeus? AWESOME!

And that's the moments. All in all a great issue packed to the gills with awesome. I don't think I could say anything that negative about it other than that it loses some points for having Hercules on his own for the current arc (well, he's with Zeus but fuck him). The Amadeus arc may well suffer in the same way. We'll see.

Rating:

Flippin' MUST BUY!




God knows what's next. More reviews? Quick-fire? Solicits? Top Ten Writers? Could be anything. But you can bet one thing: IT'LL PROBABLY BE LATE!