Flippin' Rantin' Revoltin' Reviews: Pixie Strikes Back (+ bit about the Justice League)

It isn't often that I feel the need to break self-imposed restrictions on myself and in fact I've stuck pretty well to my guns on the whole 'no more weekly reviews' stuff, but I'm breaking that this week. "But why?", I hear the voices in my head say. And I'll tell them: Because this week two fucking PUTRID comics came out this week. Two comics so bloody awful that I haven't been quite able to vent my rage through the usual means of not shutting up to anyone I know about how much I hate them.

I am in fact talking bout X-Men: Pixie Strikes Back #1 (of 4) and Justice League of America #42.

Now, just to be clear before I go blasting my head off, JLA 42 could be a perfectly average comic to any other person and I DO feel like the apparent line-up of JLA members Robinson is putting together is promising (save the fact that he threw in Mon-El, who I DO love, but am aware will be dead soon enough). BUT, and it is a big but, this issue has one of my biggest grievances with any comic in recent months. It has a horrible rendition of the Metal Men and Magnus that looks awful and feels wrong. And it's barely a cameo at that.

And I LOVE the Metal Men. But that's the only problem I feel I should mention in a world that apparently is focused on calling Robinson an awful writer now (I love his Mon-El Superman so I try to be receptive). It's a pretty bad comic, but not one that deserves me ranting about things I probably don't understand.

(advance warning: this review essentially devolves me into a typical comic book fan, moaning endlessly about things that are unimportant in incredibly flawed arguments that make me a self-righteous prick.)

HIT THE JUMP TO FIND OUT WHY I FIND THESE COMICS REVOLTIN' DEVELOPMENTS!

X-Men: Pixie Strikes Back #1 (of 4):
COVER BY: Stuart Immonen
WRITER: Kathryn Immonen
PENCILS: Sara Pichelli
COLOURS: Christina Strain

REVIEW: To say that this comic irks me is a pretty big understatement. It's AWFUL. And not only that, but it was promoted in a pretty horrifically bad way.

Kicking things off I feel the need to mention how much I hated, HATED, Immonen and Pichelli's run on Runaways. I mean here was a book that had just had a pretty bad start to it's third numbering, and I was ready to take ANYTHING over what had come to pass (though to be honest the series had been pretty mediocre in the Whedon arc too. Consider this BKV blue balls if you want). So as someone who'd liked what he'd seen of Immonen's work on Hellcat and Pichelli's work on NYX, it seemed a no-brainer to check out their work there. Bad idea. The character's all felt like they had the wrong voices and the art looked like drug addicts trying to reflect how they felt kids look nowadays (this may actually be due to the fucking rosy cheeks and tired eyes on everyone, but then I'm just picking apart something here), to say nothing of the plot developments themselves. It's probably up there with some of the worst comics I've read.
The hate I know for this page alone is so intense that I'm actually just a pathetic fanboy.

*sigh* Sorry, I'm just straight up attacking here, it may as well just be an actual attack on the creators here. But that isn't what I'm about, and all people involved are genuinely nice people from all I see of them on twitter and the like. I'm just trying to establish how low my expectations were for this comic before the preview even hit online.

(here's the preview, as hosted on CBR)

But OH MY GOD that preview. A preview, as we all well know, is supposed to highlight what the contents of the comic will be like, what to expect from the writing and the plot, and to see how the interior pencils look. Whilst the latter is achieved, showcasing some rough yet visually... interesting... art (helped by some decent colours from Christina Strain), it cocks up massively at everything else, not helped by how the opening of the comic is essentially a weird mindscape/brainwashed experience that ultimately involves the characters all being out of character.

Now, here's where the problem arises: the solicit says they're going to high school (though the hell hint might make some people realise it'll be fake somehow? I don't know). The PREVIEW shows them at high school, acting incredibly out of character, with other students beating each other up to the point of teeth flying out their skulls. Then we proceed to get them all chatting and being idiots in the girl's toilets. Which is SO classy. And all of this comes across as stupid, base and horrifically pandering to some sort of stupid teen crowd. If it weren't for Blindfold being there with eyes (something that wouldn't be noticable to anyone who forgot that her name is Ruth Aldine) you would think that Immonen was deliberately out to have the characters be like this in the full comic. Which they might not be. In fact, the comic could theoretically have good character renditions throughout the other 2 issues.

The point is that the preview was a complete FAILURE.

And the rest of the issue isn't exactly much better. You get Blindfold staring at a locker in the girls' bathroom in reality, with Sancho and Victor finding her and talking to her about where the others are. Which would be a nice scene, hinting at how wrong everything is that we've just seen, except we get SANCHO PLAYING WITH A TAMPON and suddenly realising it might well be the girls' bathroom. There's... just.... Christ... Okay. Let's continue whilst I try to maintain some semblance of integrity on this straight out rant.

We return to the high school with some stuff that doesn't entirely make sense because it's all not real or whatever, demons appear, Pixie wakes up, asks for her mother to be called and is drugged up by demon nurses. This is actually kinda intriguing, so I can't slam on it, and indeed is the steam I need to see if the second issue will improve. But THEN we get to another big hole of shit: Nightcrawler, Psylocke, and Pixie's mother. Which I can express as involving the statement 'Donald Duck Fart'. This is a comic that's ALMOST more juvenile than a Jeph Loeb comic.

.... Okay, okay that's kinda mean to both Immonen and Loeb. I'll try to moan less and just express my issues with this.

The scene is basically Pixie's mother turning up at the island, being irrational toward Nightcrawler and Psylocke, who are acting entirely stupid. We get some vague stuff about how Pixie's father isn't a coal miner and Pixie's mother goes away.

Then we get more demons, Pixie realises she has wings and my willpower to read flickers into existence. Though just before that we get THIS wonderfully drawn panel:

I'm sure some people are fans of this art (and this is evident in the abundance of fans of that Runaways run I hate so very much), but this... just looks awful. to say nothing of how the second panel seems to just be the typical yelling face that I feel I saw constantly from Molly in Runaways. Though to be fair, that third panel? Freakin' amazingly drawn!

*Ahem* Anyway, then a bigass demon appears that is said to be Pixie's father. Of course solicits for issue 4 say its Mastermind, but that's part of the plot and this cliffhanger actually works.

The biggest problem here is that this comic is outright BAD. There's little to redeem it and has some incredibly frustrating elements to it that remove and semblance of logic or relatable qualities. The characters all feel wrong and do some outright stupid things. Not just that but in a year that promises to highlight the qualities of women creators and characters this is actually detrimental.

But then I'm not a woman. And there ARE people who like this, I'm sure. So tell me I'm wrong. Please. Because I don't want to be full of this much hate. Especially as I make no sense.

Flip The Page Review: Lockjaw & The Pet Avengers #4 (of 4)

"Hey Max, you can TOTALLY keep up with a reviews blog without it becoming difficult. Who knows maybe you'll do some awesome planned video reviews and successfully build yourself up as a minor thing on the internet worth reading!" said my inner hope.

"Fuck off, you won't update on time and all you'll do is minor news and reviews, no-one will read them and you'll constantly hate on yourself and whinge, which is something you'll never change. Now shut the fuck up and keep reviewing until someone notices and plugs you, rocketing you to a hit count of more than 6 recurring readers." reality utters in response.

"Great now I'm miserable, what am I gonna do about THAT?!" the inner hope responds as it shrivels and DIES.

"Read Lockjaw & The Pet Avengers, it's fucking awesome."

"Oh yeah man I love that!"

[/satire]

HIT THE JUMP NOW YOU'VE REALISED I'M NOT BEING SERIOUS!


Now that THAT horrible attempt at humourous writing is over I can actually address the comic in question. Lockjaw & The Pet Avengers is a brilliant limited series by classic letterer and unfunny Franklin Richards strip creator Chris Eliopoulos and awesome Marvel Adventures artist Ig Guara. It's been a ray of light in a sea of Avengers overexposure, reminding everyone that a Bendis-less Avengers series is a much cheerier and satisfying one (see Dan Slott's Mighty Avengers for further evidence of this).

It might sound like I'm singing the praises of this series a bit much, but it is genuinely brilliant and astoundingly original. The writing is a great insight into the attitudes of animals exposed to the world of superheroes and indeed into the personalities of the eternal background characters that are animal sidekicks. Could anyone say that they even wanted to know these things prior to this series coming out? I didn't, but now I wish we got this insight into all the minor aspects of the Marvel U. Bring on "Chrysler Building & The Architecture Avengers"!

(wow, what a poor quality image)

The art is Ig Guara. I don't know much about the person but Guara could well become one of the best artists for Marvel in a few years. Seriously, place Guara on The Initiative. It's a match made in heaven.

Well my mood is slightly enhanced by all this now so on with the moments.

1. The face-off you never knew you were waiting for!

There's something decidedly epic about Thanos, a character who has WIPED OUT HALF THE MARVEL UNIVERSE, facing off with a group of animals, of which only 4 of which can really be said to have anything resembling powers. But really it's the fresh amount of colours and how decidedly nonplussed Obama's dog Bo is in the hands of such a monstrosity. A flippin' moment and no mistake.

2. Alas Ms. Lion, I knew him well...

This moment actually made me go 'OH SH-' so loud my cat actually got startled. That's how much this stood out as I was going through the comic. Of course being kid-friendly they couldn't kill the mascot of the team (or the Rick Jones as the role is officially know... Wait he's died at some point I think.. Well he got better) so we go from this moment of epic, containing the best animal reaction faces in a Marvel comic, to...

3. THIS is why Niels is my favourite character of the team!

There's not much I can say here. Sure it's Niels showing he cared about Ms. Lion which is a nice moment but really it all comes down to one thing: AWESOME USE OF CRYSTAL. Which of course means it all gets vair pretty and colourful, which is one of the many great things to Lockjaw & The Pet Avengers.

4. "Oh yeah, we haven't ACTUALLY named the team yet!"

In no way does this feel slightly shunted in at the last minute. Not at all. A little... A fair bit. But we forgive it simply because The Pet Avengers are awesome.

5. "OOH AND WE SHOULD TOTALLY MAKE THEM BE ALL AWESOME AND ASSEMBLE LIKE THE REAL AVENGERS!"

FUCK. YEAH.

6. I'MMA CHARGIN MAH LAZOR!

Okay it's coming from his collar but tell me that doesn't look like a shoop da woop. Gets your attention with the sheer awesome. Perhaps this is the start of an epic battle that will span the universe.

7. Lockjaw's really GOING PLACES! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OH I'M SO FUNNY!

Ah cool it is. How vibrant and interesting and awesome it is. Honestly if you haven't stopped reading to buy the fucking comic by now you best be waiting on the Hardcover!

8. Lockjaw's kinda like a really hairy multicoloured lantern

Wait, am I just stretching out the previous moment to make it seem even more awesome?

... Yes. Yes I am.

9. The Light Fantastic

PRETTY!

10. A perfect ending to a great comic

It really is. Corny as fuck, sure but it really is a great way to round out this corny limited series. If only it was getting a full ongoing...

OH WAIT IT TOTALLY IS!

Honestly you won't find a comic more worth your time this year (except perhaps Nomad: Girl Without A World, but that's obvious) and if you haven't looked at it yet hopefully this review will make you check it out in preperation for the hardcover out in October.


Next up: A brief idea of the history of Flip The Page. Wait what we have a history? Well I certainly do with the title of this blog. It's brief and uninteresting and certainly nothing to do with western comics and may well just be about manga.

Flip The Page Review: Incredible Hercules #132

I. LOVE. HERCULES.

Not literally, that would involve a large amount of combining reality with myth, marvel comics and potentially time travel failing the marvel part. No, I'm talking particularly of the comic THE INCREDIBLE HERCULES, a series that has not yet managed to be anything other than hilarious and awesome since it replaced The Incredible Hulk post-World War Hulk. Heck, the Sacred Invasion arc is the highlight of Secret Invasion!

So as such I decided to review the latest issue, the start of 'THE REPLACEMENT THOR' arc. Sure it's a week old now but it took a while to get round to doing it.

HIT THE JUMP TO READ THE REVIEW ALONG WITH MAYBE 2 OR 3 OTHER READERS OR SOMETHING!


When this arc was first announced a fair few people were skeptical, especially those who just refuse to fathom how Gods can exist from both Norse and Greek mythology, let alone cross over as such. I however am first to cry foul of people not suspending disbelief in a world with a man who can climb shit and a young boy who can make ENTIRE OTHER PLANETS, and as such embraced my beloved beardy-man's new guise with great love in my heart and I can say with my head held high that I was 100% right and.... That it doesn't really matter anyway.

The writing is Greg Pak (whose work on Planet Hulk and World War Hulk stands up there with some of Peter David's legendary 12 year run) and Fred Van Lente. If that last name didn't make you groan then you obviously haven't read enough of my posts here. Van Lente is one of many writers who in time will be the best in the business, if not of all time then certainly for the future. The double-team of these names have managed to churn out a comic with no weak issues yet, and this one is no exception, written as tightly as... a..... tight.... piece of writing?

... I'm not sure what happened there, so let's move on to the art.

Before talking about Reilly Brown's stellar pencils I have to bring up Rafael Albuquerque's cover, which I should have taken a right turn at (Bugs Bunny jokes are lame, I know shut up). It's a truly eye-catching and beautiful piece of art and if it doesn't make this issue sell like a motherfucker I will be beyond words with shock. Reilly Brown only improves upon this with some vibrant and enticing pencils in the actual issue and knocks me away with some of the best visuals this side of artists like Mike Allred, Stuart Immonen, Kyle Hotz and Amanda Conner. Wait is there another artist I wanna suck up to?.... Humberto Ramos. Yeah, now I've namedropped enough.

TIME FOR THE MOMENTS TIME NOW YES?

1. Thor's Origin Riffed To Hell

Because if YOU were the much more awesome Hercules you too would take the piss out of Thor's weak-ass origin. Hilarious as hell and grabs ya, much like the Agents of Atlas recaps have been doing until recently.

2. Ugly Bird People In Your Grill (Or Ripping Off Your Roof)

Nice to see that harpy things have the common decency for good comic timing (Hercules having just regaled Zeus with how he is the favourite son and no longer looked at him as an incompetent buffoon after the recent hell arc thing). Ugly things, but make for an interesting image that touches your goolies in nice ways.... Let's pretend I said something cooler there.

3. Balder The..... Brave?

"Oh I'm Balder the brave, look how brave I am running like a sissy from some monster things! Waaaaaaah" or something. Still looks awesome and despite how it isn't REALLY Balder it IS nice to see him in his pre-ragnorok clothes.

4. Explosions Are Cool!!!!!!

Some superheroes would have a convoluted and drawn out plan to deal with a monster. Hercules just hits it WITH A FUCKING CAR! Awesome. And Pretty. Oh yeah gotta sound like a critic... BOOM WHEEE EXPLOSIONS!

5. This Is A Page With Some Weather. Which Is Awesome.

I hate child characters, but Reilly Brown has made me want a poster of this page. Seriously if anyone can hook me up with something like that let me know. Also of note: the whole replacement Thor thing works out ever so well with the Zeus the THUNDER GOD hanging around. It's almost too convenient...

6. Like A Hammer, But A Mace!

I've always been fond of Hercules' mace, so perhaps this flippin' moment gets some bias from me, but it really stands out, along with most of the gold-framed pages, and has the most childlike glee on Herc's face since....

Oh GOD, the legendary grin he gave Amadeus when the young lad was totally scoring! THE HORROR!

7. Inside The (text) Box

"Okay," I hear you say. "It looks nice and epic, but then it's just a text heavy big panel." No. No it isn't. It's a very VERY small text box hidden away:

I love these things, especially one as self-congratulatory as this. You stop for the big picture and then see the text box and you're hooked; This comic must be yours.

8. SCIENCE!

Dream Amadeus cameo ALMOST makes up for him being absent this issue (which sure, is a plotline but fuck that I want me some genius stuff as well as boneheaded hilarity!). Probably the comedy highlight this issue, but I'm indecisive and not very competent at this whole critic thing.

9. Malekith The A-wha?

"I'M SO FUCKING EVIL THAT WHEN I REVEAL WHO I AM TO NO-ONE IN PARTICULAR THAT I HAVE TO RIP UP MY MAGICALLY CREATED DISGUISE! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"

If this is serious it's so awful. If it's a delightful parody of how villains often pull this shit then it's GENIUS.

10. Next Issue's Cover

Okay this is a cheat. But c'mon, floating brains attacking Amadeus? AWESOME!

And that's the moments. All in all a great issue packed to the gills with awesome. I don't think I could say anything that negative about it other than that it loses some points for having Hercules on his own for the current arc (well, he's with Zeus but fuck him). The Amadeus arc may well suffer in the same way. We'll see.

Rating:

Flippin' MUST BUY!




God knows what's next. More reviews? Quick-fire? Solicits? Top Ten Writers? Could be anything. But you can bet one thing: IT'LL PROBABLY BE LATE!

Flip The Page Review: Black Panther #7

Wow, so I finally got around to reviewing this, a week and a half after I ACTUALLY WANTED TO. Still I loved this series' opening arc and still have great enthusiasm for reviewing this, so here's a belated and pointless crack at BLACK PANTHER #7 by Jonathan Maberry, Reginald Hudlin & Will Conrad!

HIT THE JUMP FOR THE BLACK PANTHERY GOODNESS!


Prior to this renumbering/reboot I had little to no interest in Black Panther save the Civil War and Secret Invasion storylines, brushing it off as a cult thing or some such. That all changed with the first arc of this iteration of Black Panther however, with some genuinely clever choices in writing. Taking T'challa out of the picture and giving someone else a new struggle (in this case his sister Shuri), accepting and being accepted as the Black Panther... You just wouldn't imagine it ever being done, and the execution just makes it all the more amazing to the reader. This reboot worked by changing EVERYTHING.

The question here is "Is it still as good now the creative team's changed up?" and the answer is a resounding... Not really. It's still a good comic, but it's had so much taken away from it. But enough of me being vague and a poor critic, let's review this thing!

My first gripe is the art. Jumping from Ken Lashley to Will Conrad is a jarring process. I mean to say nothing bad of Conrad, who is in fact a pretty good artist, but Lashley was the PERFECT artist for the job. With Conrad you still get some great action and emotive scenes sure, but you also get some fucked up faces and small flaws that make you feel kind of sad. So still good, but not AS good, and that hurts.

The writing is problematic. This issue is apparently Hudlin handing over to Maberry but however I read this it seems like Hudlin wasn't involved at all. All that occurred and developed Shuri in the first 6 issues suddenly seems inconsequential and she's become a self-assured snark like any other 'important public persona' hero. But then this didn't have much time to enter her head this issue so it could just be how it seems.

Now we're past that ON WITH THE MOMENTS!

1. Heartfelt Off The Bat

There's something great about opening on something that actually MATTERS, or isn't just a continuation of some lame cliffhanger like most comics tend to be (yes, even at the start of new arcs). In this case we get a bit of fallout from the first arc combined with a look at T'challa's humanity. It's just a small piece of him looking sad at graves whilst in a wheelchair, but it works enough to remind you he's not just an overhyped guy who used to wear a black suit.

2. I AM (not) WAKANDAN! AND I AM ALONE IN A ROOM WRITING A TITLE FOR A FLIPPIN' MOMENT!

Another case of rejecting standard comic junk is this one page spread (where there'd normally be a two page ya see. Marvel ain't inventive). But that's not important. This is an almost iconic image, a new ruler before her people, showing they can overcome the tragedy that just recently plagued them. Powerful stuff. Though I am tempted to moan about how I preferred Shuri when she was all pathetic and less overconfident. Wait, I'm pretty sure I brought that up earlier anyway... I'll leave now.

3. Obam-again

Okay so this is technically an Obama cameo that makes some sense but still, OVEREXPOSURE MUCH?! That and the expression on Shuri JUST below the panel in question scares the shit out of me. Still a moment's a moment and people would buy it for this, so [/gripe]

4. Wait, didn't the Thunderbolts do this sorta thing YEARS ago?

Seriously, this is the highlight emotive moment of the whole thing, showing the struggle T'challa has to go through, his intent on his poor state of health not holding him back... I mean... WOW. AND YET I CAN'T SHAKE THE FACT THAT THIS STUFF WAS BETTER WHEN JOLT WAS DOING IT BACK IN THUNDERBOLTS YEARS AGO! Can't find a scan of it sadly so take my word at face value. Great moment, done better by someone else. That or I cared more then... Ya know what let's just pretend we never had this conversation.

5. The Black Panther's FUCKING AWESOME

What? She is!

6. T'challa: Still Pimping After All These Years

So more of his lady people appear for some purpose... I don't really care that much in the end, this issue was weak and didn't leave me wanting. But T'CHALLA IS THE BOOM KING! He gets all the ladies!

And that's issue 7 of Black Panther. It's by no means bad, just incredibly weak by the standards of this new iteration. I'll still check it out next month and probably for long after that, but I can't honestly say it'll ever match those first 6 issues.

With that all in mind, here's the rating:

READ IT?

Next up: Incredible Hercules #132