Saving S.W.O.R.D. (Or How I Learnt To Worry A Lot & Be Part Of An Internet Campaign

AAAAAARGH WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON I DON'T POST ON MY SITE THAT'S RIDICULOUS WHAT ARE YOU DOING READING THIS GO AWAY YOU ALL SMELL OR SOMETHING!

..... phew. I am at peace again... OH SH-

WAIT WAIT I HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO WRITE ABOUT PAY ATTENTION I LOVE YOU ALL ESPECIALLY THAT GUY WHO SMELLS LIKE POO! STAY AND READ! AND LEARN!

Okay? Okay.

YOU aren't reading S.W.O.R.D.. I specifically mean you. Yes, you with your copies of sub-par series like Uncanny X-Men, Hulk or Dark Avengers. You aren't reading S.W.O.R.D. and the world hates you for it. How can anyone expect comics to progress as an art form when you swan around buying whatever mainstream adolescent crap that you love out of some freakish love for self abuse and a profound joy found in being oblivious to anything that's genuinely brilliant. You fuck.

Of course if you buy S.W.O.R.D. disregard all of that preceding nonsense. Instead of taking that abuse just tell EVERYONE you know to buy S.W.O.R.D.! It's a decent first action before you do your part to save such a brilliant gem from cancellation.

By now you either know what I'm on about, are offended horrifically, have fucked off, or are wondering why I'm going on about S.W.O.R.D., whatever the hell that may be.

Well, I'll tell you. S.W.O.R.D. is a brilliant series spinning out of Whedon's Astonishing X-Men (remember how good that was? This is better) and forming itself in the aftermath of both Secret Invasion and Beast's leaving of the X-Men (remember those plot points? This is better), written by the amazing Kieron Gillen (of Phonogram, Beta Ray Bill: Godhunter and THOR fame) and illustrated by the inimitable Steven Sanders. It follows the organisation of the same name and their wacky misadventures up on the Spire, their bigass satellite space station. More specifically it's about Abigail Brand and her stern kinkiness, Beast and his quirky loveable sciencist...ness, Lockheed and his drunkenness, Sydren and his bit-roleness, Unit and his would-probably-skin-you-after-tricking-the-fuck-out-of-you-in-a-very-evil-wayishness and Henry Peter Gyrich and his being SPACE NICK GRIFFIN..ness.

Oh and it has Death's Head in it. Which is AWESOME!

The first three issues are out at the moment and they've thrown some brilliant plots into the mix already, between Death's Head hunting the half-brother of Brand (on her father's side, so he's all green and furry), Sydren trying to stall for time in a meeting with people who want to take all of our women-folk or some such thing, a mysterious spooky signal that no-one bothered to investigate and Henry Peter Gyrich trying to get every alien forcibly removed from Earth. Now, ALL of these plot points get suitable airing, with character moments galore throughout. This juggles balls better than any comic about. Heck, it juggles balls better than the best Jongleur in all of France!

And yet, it isn't selling more than a few thousand copies each issue. Because people are ignoring it for one reason or another. And ALL of those reasons are BAD REASONS. Especially that one about Beast looking so different. I mean he's ruddy adorable! JUST LOOK AT HIM:
Actually Brand looks quite nice there too...

Anyway, all I've done is ramble in expository and aggressive manners. But that's the problem here, it's THAT good that it's incredibly hard to know where to start making it sound as good as it really is. I'm not a comic writer (yet) and don't have the tools neccesary to eloquently talk about comics as well as normal as I'm in the middle of a big brain fart or something that makes even writing a guest post for another site a never-ending task of writers block and the like. It's easy enough to rant on twitter about how awful a comic is or something, it's just hitting my head against a wall. But when it comes to trying to describe all the reasons that a comic floors me straight up with the sheer power of awesome I'm stumped. So just trust me when I say YOU need to be buying this series.
Ah, nothing like some good banter between characters to prove that it's awesome.
AND if you already are there are ways to show your support for this series.

• First up is to tell people you know to buy it. It's a simple idea and creates a chain effect that would lead to far better sales with enough luck and willpower. And if you know them in person you can show them an issue you own to tease them into it.

• The second way is to jump onto twitter and talk about how awesome it is to all your followers and adding #savesword to your tweet. Or if you're feeling experimental you can make your statements more intricate by living the wonderful existence granted to a freelance peace-keeping agent and #talklikedeathshead when you are promoting the brilliance of the Sentient World Observation and Response Department.

• The third (and I'm weirdly fond of this one) is to go to Nerderyblog and print out the PDF files contained on the page linked to, fill them out and send 'em off to show your love for S.W.O.R.D. the only way people know how to: with a love heart and a furry guy.

So that's my incredibly scatty piece on one of my favourite series (and the ONLY Marvel ongoing I am guaranteed to buy each month) that I thoroughly encourage you to buy. As does everyone's favourite Freelance Peace-Keeping Agent:


-Flip the Page OUT! (to hide and never update)

Flip The Page Review: Lockjaw & The Pet Avengers #4 (of 4)

"Hey Max, you can TOTALLY keep up with a reviews blog without it becoming difficult. Who knows maybe you'll do some awesome planned video reviews and successfully build yourself up as a minor thing on the internet worth reading!" said my inner hope.

"Fuck off, you won't update on time and all you'll do is minor news and reviews, no-one will read them and you'll constantly hate on yourself and whinge, which is something you'll never change. Now shut the fuck up and keep reviewing until someone notices and plugs you, rocketing you to a hit count of more than 6 recurring readers." reality utters in response.

"Great now I'm miserable, what am I gonna do about THAT?!" the inner hope responds as it shrivels and DIES.

"Read Lockjaw & The Pet Avengers, it's fucking awesome."

"Oh yeah man I love that!"

[/satire]

HIT THE JUMP NOW YOU'VE REALISED I'M NOT BEING SERIOUS!


Now that THAT horrible attempt at humourous writing is over I can actually address the comic in question. Lockjaw & The Pet Avengers is a brilliant limited series by classic letterer and unfunny Franklin Richards strip creator Chris Eliopoulos and awesome Marvel Adventures artist Ig Guara. It's been a ray of light in a sea of Avengers overexposure, reminding everyone that a Bendis-less Avengers series is a much cheerier and satisfying one (see Dan Slott's Mighty Avengers for further evidence of this).

It might sound like I'm singing the praises of this series a bit much, but it is genuinely brilliant and astoundingly original. The writing is a great insight into the attitudes of animals exposed to the world of superheroes and indeed into the personalities of the eternal background characters that are animal sidekicks. Could anyone say that they even wanted to know these things prior to this series coming out? I didn't, but now I wish we got this insight into all the minor aspects of the Marvel U. Bring on "Chrysler Building & The Architecture Avengers"!

(wow, what a poor quality image)

The art is Ig Guara. I don't know much about the person but Guara could well become one of the best artists for Marvel in a few years. Seriously, place Guara on The Initiative. It's a match made in heaven.

Well my mood is slightly enhanced by all this now so on with the moments.

1. The face-off you never knew you were waiting for!

There's something decidedly epic about Thanos, a character who has WIPED OUT HALF THE MARVEL UNIVERSE, facing off with a group of animals, of which only 4 of which can really be said to have anything resembling powers. But really it's the fresh amount of colours and how decidedly nonplussed Obama's dog Bo is in the hands of such a monstrosity. A flippin' moment and no mistake.

2. Alas Ms. Lion, I knew him well...

This moment actually made me go 'OH SH-' so loud my cat actually got startled. That's how much this stood out as I was going through the comic. Of course being kid-friendly they couldn't kill the mascot of the team (or the Rick Jones as the role is officially know... Wait he's died at some point I think.. Well he got better) so we go from this moment of epic, containing the best animal reaction faces in a Marvel comic, to...

3. THIS is why Niels is my favourite character of the team!

There's not much I can say here. Sure it's Niels showing he cared about Ms. Lion which is a nice moment but really it all comes down to one thing: AWESOME USE OF CRYSTAL. Which of course means it all gets vair pretty and colourful, which is one of the many great things to Lockjaw & The Pet Avengers.

4. "Oh yeah, we haven't ACTUALLY named the team yet!"

In no way does this feel slightly shunted in at the last minute. Not at all. A little... A fair bit. But we forgive it simply because The Pet Avengers are awesome.

5. "OOH AND WE SHOULD TOTALLY MAKE THEM BE ALL AWESOME AND ASSEMBLE LIKE THE REAL AVENGERS!"

FUCK. YEAH.

6. I'MMA CHARGIN MAH LAZOR!

Okay it's coming from his collar but tell me that doesn't look like a shoop da woop. Gets your attention with the sheer awesome. Perhaps this is the start of an epic battle that will span the universe.

7. Lockjaw's really GOING PLACES! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OH I'M SO FUNNY!

Ah cool it is. How vibrant and interesting and awesome it is. Honestly if you haven't stopped reading to buy the fucking comic by now you best be waiting on the Hardcover!

8. Lockjaw's kinda like a really hairy multicoloured lantern

Wait, am I just stretching out the previous moment to make it seem even more awesome?

... Yes. Yes I am.

9. The Light Fantastic

PRETTY!

10. A perfect ending to a great comic

It really is. Corny as fuck, sure but it really is a great way to round out this corny limited series. If only it was getting a full ongoing...

OH WAIT IT TOTALLY IS!

Honestly you won't find a comic more worth your time this year (except perhaps Nomad: Girl Without A World, but that's obvious) and if you haven't looked at it yet hopefully this review will make you check it out in preperation for the hardcover out in October.


Next up: A brief idea of the history of Flip The Page. Wait what we have a history? Well I certainly do with the title of this blog. It's brief and uninteresting and certainly nothing to do with western comics and may well just be about manga.