Why Yes, I Have Gone Quite Insane

Consider this a temporary interlude to both share my madness and to hide the fact that I'm having trouble finding a decent replacement series for the letter D in light of not wanting to tear up Dark Blue.

... Save me.

Quick-Fire Reviews: Max Fails It

No I don't know why I used that image again. I just love it.

So yeah, following up on Tim being unable to do his archaic spider-man review, I've also missed out on Quick-Fire Reviews last week for one reason or another.

The plus side? Top Ten Writers #10 WILL be up soon, starting off what I hope to be ten straight days of it.

Until then imagine me as the Punisher and you the reader as Molly Hayes. Feels good huh.

Archaic Spider-Man Reviews: Tim Fails It.

This is just a brief update to explain why Archaic Spider-Man 62 isn't here yet. The scanner I use has broken and is unusable, so I am currently unable to scan pages for reviews. This means that any review I write would only be in a bastardized form, in which I would be unable to comment on the visuals. There isn't much point in writing about this medium if you can't mention the art.

As such, consider me in general on hiatus, at least for the time being.

OH YEAH! TAKEN A BREAK!

Probably quite important to mention that I've been taking a break these past few days. As such there will be NO Quick-Fire Reviews this week (again).

BUT WAIT!

I WILL be reviewing some of this week's releases in full FTP text reviews over the next few days. So you don't really miss out on much.

In the meantime I point you all to Hex or Weekly Crisis for your bloggy goodness and I'll just keep on lounging about doing nothing.

Apologies: I'm back!

And You're Not Amused

So yeah, disappeared off the map this weekend. Kinda followed up on that whole 'no laptop is a problem' thing. Quick-Fire reviews for LAST WEEK will be up in the new format tomorrow, followed by the FTP Text Review for... Whatever and rounding off with a Top Ten that's taken a lot out of me. Oh and I have a new microphone for the New Mutants video so the pace should up on that. All relevance to Merc with a Month is null and void however, as I'm going to just intersperse these reviews with others of more interest to myself and my tiny tiny audience.

Peace out and keep ya eye on this space!

Video Review Preview: Script Fragments

Okay, the first post I ever made on this blog was promising three video reviews for the period of June/July.

We're now in July.

I have largely, as one would say, fucked up.

Lessons have been learnt.

The main lesson? DON'T PROCRASTINATE! The other? Learn how to script more efficiently of course.

So as a sort of apology for something that was intended to start BEFORE the release of Deadpool: Merc With A Mouth #01 I'm allowing you all a peek at the introduction, mainly because it's outdated, but also because it gives you an idea how bloated this first review is.

HIT THE JUMP AND UNDERSTAND MY ANGUISH!

In the next few days the popular Liefeld creation Deadpool is
getting another ongoing series, giving him a total of three series
running at the same time. I'd rib on this for being a stupid idea
but when Wolverine has something approaching 8 series featuring
him and there being something like 5 Avenger books at present
so why should I care about deadpool having as few as THREE series?
So with his new series in mind this is the MERC WITH A MONTH!
A horrible pun celebrating a below-average character that has only
really stepped into his own once. Just once. With Cable & Deadpool.

First up I'm reviewing a comic so awful, so BRAIN-NUMBINGLY SHITTY
that whatever I say about it today barely surmises just how much I
want this comic to be burned en masse. I would actually get a
copy myself and destroy it but Wizard magazine informs me that
copies of the issue are currently worth FORTY FIVE DOLLARS.

FORTY. FIVE. DOLLARS.

That's like thirty quid or something over here in Blighty. You
could buy a shitload of DECENT comics that are coming out in
the present day! If anyone has actually shilled out this much
for the comic then they should bore into their head with a
heavy duty mining drill. This becomes all the more humourous
when you consider the comic is now being reprinted in Deadpool's
new series! YOU'VE WASTED FORTY FIVE DOLLARS ON A COMIC INCLUDED
IN A $3.99 RELEASE!

The idea here is that I write the main gist of what I want to say and in the recording I'll adjust it as I see fit. All the same, this introduction may seem redundant now that Deadpool's new series has already started, so the final product may differe greatly. Also I chopped off the first paragraph and the last paragraph of the intro to keep some sense of mystery to the start of the video.



BONUS: A COMPLETELY RANDOM EXCERPT!

Cannonball states "Hope you don't mind if AH get into it for my
OWN sake then..." which in the context of my delusions just makes
it sound like he wants to pilot the Rape-Bot and join in the
action, something that unsettles me deeply.

Looking at Cannonball's get-up I really wish I could come up with
a "the goggles, they do nothing" joke, but sadly nothing comes to
mind. I guess I'm just not funny enough.

Yeah I'll ATTEMPT to make stuff like this funnier or at least flow better in the final product.

There you go, hope you... read it. Or at least watch the final product.




Quick-Fire Reviews out tomorrow or tonight, Top Ten #3 and the Top Five bonus will be out before the weekend is out unless I get more retarded. Which knowing me.... Well...