Young Avengers: Allan Heinberg Returns!

So yeah, Young Avengers returning properly. Allan Heinberg is returning to write an 8 issue limited series about our favourite team of young'uns. Not much else is out there right now, but that isn't the point of this post. the point is that this might well mark the first point since Heinberg left that the events in a Young Avengers limited ACTUALLY FUCKING MATTER!

Seriously, Nothing consequential has been allowed to happen for the three limiteds that have occurred so far, except perhaps the addition of the young masters of evil (if they become that) but then that doesn't change the team, just the adversaries available to them.

The team has remained the same since the original series' conclusion and that just bothers me. No-one can leave or join because Heinberg has a vision for it (a brilliant one though I'm sure). Marvel would probably say that isn't the case or something but looking at all the limited series there's no getting around it. Heck even the spreading out into other series, like Stature being in the Initiative (didn't last) or her being in the Mighty Avengers (inconsequential effect on the YA I'm sure). Heck in Secret Invasion Vision got a blast through his head and it didn't shake things up AT ALL.

So here's to some actual CHANGE happening and God is it about time!

News Shots: FAN EXPO STUFF!

KA-POW! NEWS TIME!

- Disney now own Marvel Entertainment Inc.... Fuck. More on that at some other point when I can point out the internet's reaction.

- The Pet Avengers is just another 4 issue limited series, watering down my INITIAL EXCITEMENT but not enough to stop me anticipating the shit out of it. To find out more about the upcoming series head over to COMIC BOOK RESOURCES NOW!

- X-Factor is taking a month's hiatus come November in preparation for ISSUE #200! This will bring them into New York where they'll fill that age-old role of the 'go-to guys'. Ya know, like Matt Murdock being EVERYONE'S lawyer or Moon Knight driving EVERYONE'S taxi. This'll be them solving EVERYONE'S problems. Again, COMIC BOOK RESOURCES is the place to mosey on over to where they talk to Peter David about it all.

- Jeff Parker continues to prove why he's the shining star of an upcoming piece I'm writing about the future best writers EVARR by handling something called WORLD WAR HULKS: ALPHA. It's a step to greatness but then it's a tie-in to a Loeb event. Mixed feelings.

- More What If stories are appearing. None of them are interesting.

- Apparently the Sentry will appear a lot in the future. Bleh I say, BLEH!

- Allan Heinberg is FINALLY writing a new Young Avengers arc in an 8 issue limited series. More on my fangirlish squeals later.



That's the news shots. I'll be writing more on a variety of these soon (and anything else that crops up) just figured I'd lay them all out here so I can pick and choose later.

Archaic Spider-Man Reviews: Number 62

Wow, sorry guys. This is a whole week late; but my scanner is up and running again now, and just in time for the final showdown with the Kingpin. Peter's been promising that he will kill Wilson Fisk for a couple of issues now, and I continue to approach this concept with a mixture of disbelief and amusement. Still, he looks pretty into it at the start of slot 1 (Back in Black part 4)...

WHY ISN'T HE WEARING ANY CLOTHES? Let's just hope he's not that naked after the jump.

The basic idea here is that it isn't Spider-Man who is going to have vengeance and kill Fisk, but rather Peter, so he's taken off the mask and shirt. I just wish his black trousers didn't make him look so much like shadowy naked guy in the picture above. The actual fight with Fisk is pretty cool, because it isn't really two people fighting, more Peter beating the shit out of Fisk. He's eerily silent for the first few clashes, taking Fisk apart with lethal precision. Peter then makes the same point I made last week about Fisk having no real capabilities beyond his massive ego, though he puts it more eloquently than I. Anyway, the fight culminates in a pretty badass moment

'You keep talking like a bitch, I'm gonna slap you like a bitch'

Let's just ignore the fact Peter seems to be picking Fisk up by his skin and just enjoy this emasculation of an evil man. This could only really get better if it finished with a soul punch.

Well, Fisk lies bloodied and defeated on the floor. Now all that remains is for Peter to finally take vengeance like he's been saying, right? Of course not, because this is shaping up to be a typical redemption story - hero falls, hero starts violating his own rules, hero approaches ultimate violation of said rules, hero has a change of heart, hero throws Emperor Palpatine over the balcony into the core of the Death Star... Anyway, here's how Peter rationalizes not killing Fisk.

Yeah, I totally believe you.

That's most of the first slot right there in that fight, so there's not really much to review. It ends with Pete and MJ watching over May as she sleeps. They're running out of money, but I've run out of comic, so time to give Eddie Brock cancer!

Slot 2 is The Last Temptation of Eddie Brock: Part 1. Eddie Brock? I thought he was dead from the terminal cancer he got way back when he sold off the Venom symbiote. In fact, in that arc (the first from Marvel Knights: Spider-Man) Brock slit his wrists! He should be dead twice over. Instead, he's just in a pretty, creepy splash page with a skewed panel order.

I could get into this after all.

Brock is crazy, or tripping from his medication, or part of Venom is still hanging around. Whatever the reason, this is quite a cool concept, because Venom's voice is like an aspect of Brock's mind now; compelling him to act and giving him strength. He spots MJ, who has been visiting May, who thanks to the God of comics just happens to be in the same hospital. MJ has been feeling survivor's guilt for not taking the bullet that hit May. A fair point really, and it would certainly please Max, who really hates her. I simply don't get her appeal.

Meanwhile, Peter does something filling before going to visit Madame Web. There's a clever moment here where Peter explains the whole situation to Web and asks her to perform a kind of séance for May. Web is a precognitive psychic, and has already agreed to his proposal; so talking to her is shown to be basically unnecessary. That said, I bet she sure is lonely; she seems to spend her days sitting in her Spider-Chair, waiting for people to turn up and ask for help. Poor lady.

In the last few pages, Brock's inner Venom has been browbeating him into attacking the Parkers. Brock has ordered a black Spidey suit to wear, for no real reason. What, do companies just mail out costumes to anyone that wants one? If this kind of service exists, why does Peter often complain that his suit smells bad or is falling to pieces? He can just buy a new one from the Gap!

Slot 3 is the conclusion of Sandblasted, and Spidey, Sandman and a random pothead are tracking down an impostor Uncle Ben using the helmet they found last ish. There's a nice odd-trio vibe to this, as they compete to be the best characters from Scooby Doo and then squabble about directions. It's not like they have to track down a killer before an innocent man gets electrocuted by the state... Speaking of which, Sandy's dad is getting his date with the chair fast-tracked to that same night. Barring some kind of Deus Ex Machina, it seems hopeless for him. *Snigger*.

They track the Ben killer to Midtown High, and the helmet asks Pete what kind of justice to administer, to which he replies 'poetic justice'. I just know this is going to go wrong. Sandy and Spidey run into the building and find the target; the school principle. All is not as it seems, however, as the 'principle' soon shifts into Sandman, and then Spider-Man 2211. Turns out, this is the Chameleon from 2211. Still, i'm sure he's an ok person really. Oh shit, I made him mad!

The rare shiny red Gyarados!

I'm not sure if this makes me want to play Pokémon, Starcraft or Warhammer. Needless to say, Chameleon 2211 is some kind of big red... thing, but he's only in this form for a few panels before Peter decides it would be a good idea to yank the helmet onto the alien's head and order it to administer justice. And... he's exactly right, because this somehow swaps the Chameleon with Sandman's father just before the electric chair was activated. That's such a bullshit, pulled-out-of-ass ending to a reasonable strip! How can the helmet teleport people? When was this explained? Why didn't the helmet just teleport Spider-Man to the school in the first place? Come to think of it, what will Spidey do with the helmet now? It's far too useful to not use again.

Actually, what was the Chameleon 2211's motive for all this? Was he just trying fuck things up for a few people in a really minor way? Framing one lowlife crook and then hiding for a while is not a grand master plan. This just leaves too many questions unanswered and unanswerable.


Well, that was AstonSpid numbah 62. Next Issue, Spidey protects May from Eddie Brock, discovers the truth about Miss Arrow and takes on the law. Till then, g'night.

Quick-Fire Reviews: Max Fails It

No I don't know why I used that image again. I just love it.

So yeah, following up on Tim being unable to do his archaic spider-man review, I've also missed out on Quick-Fire Reviews last week for one reason or another.

The plus side? Top Ten Writers #10 WILL be up soon, starting off what I hope to be ten straight days of it.

Until then imagine me as the Punisher and you the reader as Molly Hayes. Feels good huh.

Archaic Spider-Man Reviews: Tim Fails It.

This is just a brief update to explain why Archaic Spider-Man 62 isn't here yet. The scanner I use has broken and is unusable, so I am currently unable to scan pages for reviews. This means that any review I write would only be in a bastardized form, in which I would be unable to comment on the visuals. There isn't much point in writing about this medium if you can't mention the art.

As such, consider me in general on hiatus, at least for the time being.

Flip The Page: A History

"WAIT WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT IMAGE WHAT'S GOING ON?!" I don't really hear you say. Well, I'll tell you. That is in fact the banner from the first ever edition of Flip The Page way back in July 2006.

July 2006?!

Wow that was a while back. You see, Flip The Page has existed in many forms over the years. From a simple Manga of the Month flavour over at a fledgling site known as Live Action Anime (LAA) which spread out into a monthly manga review column known as FLIP THE PAGE!

Why all the manga? I loved that shit. I still do. I just don't have the money to pursue that much shit a month. I mean I have a backlog of like 300+ volumes, some of which I'm unsucessfullly trying to sell.

So that all lasted up till December that year, where I took one of my stereotypical breaks that I never came back from. Yeah that won't happen here... Maybe.

Then come... I don't know... more recently I started a new column up at there that had one update and I just kinda.... stopped. This was renamed Sweet Ramen (because NOODLES LOVES YOU! GEDDIT?! No? Yeah why would you?) and wasn't very good, a (once again) manga news recap. Still it had some bitchass logos.




Then a long time later I've started getting comics and this all happened. Now you know!

LINKS RELATED:

Manga of the Month
Flip The Page Archive
Sweet Ramen

This is an abridged version of the 'history' section that will appear on the 'ABOUT US' page. I hoped you enjoyed this basic version and will stop throwing shit at my house

Flip The Page Review: Lockjaw & The Pet Avengers #4 (of 4)

"Hey Max, you can TOTALLY keep up with a reviews blog without it becoming difficult. Who knows maybe you'll do some awesome planned video reviews and successfully build yourself up as a minor thing on the internet worth reading!" said my inner hope.

"Fuck off, you won't update on time and all you'll do is minor news and reviews, no-one will read them and you'll constantly hate on yourself and whinge, which is something you'll never change. Now shut the fuck up and keep reviewing until someone notices and plugs you, rocketing you to a hit count of more than 6 recurring readers." reality utters in response.

"Great now I'm miserable, what am I gonna do about THAT?!" the inner hope responds as it shrivels and DIES.

"Read Lockjaw & The Pet Avengers, it's fucking awesome."

"Oh yeah man I love that!"

[/satire]

HIT THE JUMP NOW YOU'VE REALISED I'M NOT BEING SERIOUS!


Now that THAT horrible attempt at humourous writing is over I can actually address the comic in question. Lockjaw & The Pet Avengers is a brilliant limited series by classic letterer and unfunny Franklin Richards strip creator Chris Eliopoulos and awesome Marvel Adventures artist Ig Guara. It's been a ray of light in a sea of Avengers overexposure, reminding everyone that a Bendis-less Avengers series is a much cheerier and satisfying one (see Dan Slott's Mighty Avengers for further evidence of this).

It might sound like I'm singing the praises of this series a bit much, but it is genuinely brilliant and astoundingly original. The writing is a great insight into the attitudes of animals exposed to the world of superheroes and indeed into the personalities of the eternal background characters that are animal sidekicks. Could anyone say that they even wanted to know these things prior to this series coming out? I didn't, but now I wish we got this insight into all the minor aspects of the Marvel U. Bring on "Chrysler Building & The Architecture Avengers"!

(wow, what a poor quality image)

The art is Ig Guara. I don't know much about the person but Guara could well become one of the best artists for Marvel in a few years. Seriously, place Guara on The Initiative. It's a match made in heaven.

Well my mood is slightly enhanced by all this now so on with the moments.

1. The face-off you never knew you were waiting for!

There's something decidedly epic about Thanos, a character who has WIPED OUT HALF THE MARVEL UNIVERSE, facing off with a group of animals, of which only 4 of which can really be said to have anything resembling powers. But really it's the fresh amount of colours and how decidedly nonplussed Obama's dog Bo is in the hands of such a monstrosity. A flippin' moment and no mistake.

2. Alas Ms. Lion, I knew him well...

This moment actually made me go 'OH SH-' so loud my cat actually got startled. That's how much this stood out as I was going through the comic. Of course being kid-friendly they couldn't kill the mascot of the team (or the Rick Jones as the role is officially know... Wait he's died at some point I think.. Well he got better) so we go from this moment of epic, containing the best animal reaction faces in a Marvel comic, to...

3. THIS is why Niels is my favourite character of the team!

There's not much I can say here. Sure it's Niels showing he cared about Ms. Lion which is a nice moment but really it all comes down to one thing: AWESOME USE OF CRYSTAL. Which of course means it all gets vair pretty and colourful, which is one of the many great things to Lockjaw & The Pet Avengers.

4. "Oh yeah, we haven't ACTUALLY named the team yet!"

In no way does this feel slightly shunted in at the last minute. Not at all. A little... A fair bit. But we forgive it simply because The Pet Avengers are awesome.

5. "OOH AND WE SHOULD TOTALLY MAKE THEM BE ALL AWESOME AND ASSEMBLE LIKE THE REAL AVENGERS!"

FUCK. YEAH.

6. I'MMA CHARGIN MAH LAZOR!

Okay it's coming from his collar but tell me that doesn't look like a shoop da woop. Gets your attention with the sheer awesome. Perhaps this is the start of an epic battle that will span the universe.

7. Lockjaw's really GOING PLACES! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OH I'M SO FUNNY!

Ah cool it is. How vibrant and interesting and awesome it is. Honestly if you haven't stopped reading to buy the fucking comic by now you best be waiting on the Hardcover!

8. Lockjaw's kinda like a really hairy multicoloured lantern

Wait, am I just stretching out the previous moment to make it seem even more awesome?

... Yes. Yes I am.

9. The Light Fantastic

PRETTY!

10. A perfect ending to a great comic

It really is. Corny as fuck, sure but it really is a great way to round out this corny limited series. If only it was getting a full ongoing...

OH WAIT IT TOTALLY IS!

Honestly you won't find a comic more worth your time this year (except perhaps Nomad: Girl Without A World, but that's obvious) and if you haven't looked at it yet hopefully this review will make you check it out in preperation for the hardcover out in October.


Next up: A brief idea of the history of Flip The Page. Wait what we have a history? Well I certainly do with the title of this blog. It's brief and uninteresting and certainly nothing to do with western comics and may well just be about manga.